1. We admitted that we needed to manage other’s lives because they were so unmanageable.
The Controller’s 12 steps
2. Came to believe that the fact that others couldn’t see our greater power showed their insanity.
3. Told our family and friends to turn their will and their lives over to us, as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our friends and family.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to other human beings the exact nature of their wrongs.
6. Told them we could help them remove all these defects of character.
7. Told God we would help them remove their shortcomings.
8. Make a list of all the ways they had harmed us, and demanded that they make amends to us.
9. Graciously accepted their amends, except when to do so would encourage them to forget to be guilty.
10. Continued to take personal inventories and when they were wrong, promptly informed them and anyone else who would listen.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to explain to God, whom only we could understand, what our will was for the others.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, so they could practice these principles in all their affairs.
Having decided that CoDA didn’t cover all the bases, we added step 13.
13. That everyone we knew would be better off just doing what we told them, so they could be recovered like us.
Kay M (2000)