The 4-H’s, Well, Maybe 5

Some of us think that the 4-H’s refer to the agricultural club for youth.  However, my friend has come up with another club using this designation.  He and I are both recovering from codependent issues in our lives.  He recently spoke on his 4-H’s and his explanation had a profound impact upon me and possibly others can benefit as well.

The first H is for “HELP”.  He stated that the realization for help was necessary as a beginning step.  When we go though these difficult times it is important for us to recognize that we do need help.  Help comes in many forms such as support groups, therapy, church, friends, safe people, etc.  You can put your own additions in as you have them.

The second H is for “HEALING”.  When we have lived with serious problems in our lives and we come to deal with them, we need to heal from them.  It doesn’t matter what the problems may be whether codependency, alcoholism, drug addiction, failed marriages, or just plain old dysfunctional behaviors.  The healing process is just that, a process.  We must take time and allow ourselves what we need to heal.  There is no timetable and each of us is different so we heal at different rates.  The key here is that we do need to heal as a part of the process of recovery as we move on through our journey in life.

Thirdly, the next H is for “HEALTHY”.  As he points out, our bodies suffer as we go through these crises and emotional traumas.  We need to pay attention to our health.  Things such eating properly, exercise, mental health, and just our physical health in general are all important aspects on the road to recovery.  We should not neglect the health concerns as we are recovering, to do so will prolong our recovery.

His fourth H stands for “HAPPY”.  As we do begin to recover, we can begin to see the good things in life again.  We can be happy as we move on.  Happiness takes on many forms and can be different for each one of us.  The recovery process is a journey and if we seek it, we can and will find the happiness that we deserve.

Lastly, I would like to add a fifth H to the list and this would be “HOPE”.  For my journey in recovery, I have found hope in great abundance.  I have experienced the benevolence of strangers in my time of need.  The caring, love, and understanding for me from my support groups.  There are so many people in this world that are hurting but seem to not have a focus on how to successfully cope with that hurt.  I am thankful that I am working my program on my recovery journey.  It does give me real hope for the future.

I would like to thank him for sharing his insights about his 4-H’s he has used in his recovery process.  They have helped me and I hope they can be useful to others as well.

Don V. (2007)