The Protected Path

 

Thanks to the safety and acceptance inherent to these 12 step meetings I am able to speak my truth without fear.  When I speak my truth the channel to my soul is strengthened.

 

            Sometimes I surprise myself with what I share and with what my truth really is.  But truth is truth and even though it may not always be pretty, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  When I connect with my truth I am able to integrate it into the rest of my being and inevitably the result is more clarity and less confusion.

 

            At the start of each meeting the chairperson will say, “Will you please help me open this meeting with a moment of silence followed by the CoDA opening prayer.”  That moment of silence is sacred to me.  It is when I make a conscious decision to open the door to my truth.  I see it in my minds eye.  I acknowledge that it is there and I give it permission to come out.  I essentially affirm to myself – “it’s okay, this is a safe place.  I love you and I want you to be you.”  In that moment I suspend all judgment and I clear a path.

 

            I’ve usually got disgruntled waves of chaos, black holes of fear and many cracks of uncertainty all around me in my landscape.  But in that moment of silence I dis-empower all of those things and focus on my door of truth and clear the path needed to get there.

 

            I clear the path by inviting my Higher Power to shine its light.  I invite my higher power into my conscious and I give it complete authority over the landscape.  I don’t tell it what to do or where to go, I just say, “please shine your light and guide me to the truth.”  When my higher power responds my mind and body feel surrounded by peace, security and calm.  In his protection I rest and let go.

 

            My higher power literally becomes a boundary between my truth and the rest of the world, including my fears, insecurities, doubts and egotistical know-it-alls.  It’s a paradox for sure, but in order for me to move forward in my recovery I have to stop and let god lead the way.

 

            What is your relationship like with your Higher Power?  Do you resist its guidance and protection?  Or have you let go?  Where is it leading you?

 

Jen R.