Some people, their pain brings them together, 
Some People, that same pain (UNDEALT WITH) tears THEM apart!
THEM as a couple and each of THEM as a person!

When you get Therapy, or go to support meetings (CODA), you will bring to
surface old and new PAIN not yet DEALT WITH and you WILL go through stages:

Anger         Over and Over
Denial             "             "
Relapses         "             "
Sadness          "             "
Panic              "             "
Helplessness   "             "
Self-hate         "             " will learn from the therapy, meetings, books, meeting members...
how to overcome all these and LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!! Till these things are
seldom, if at all, controlling your life. Good Luck! and God Bless You!